Friday, January 2, 2009

And it's gonna be a Happy New Year!

Other than our engagement in 2003, this has been one of the hardest years yet. In December of '07 we prayerfully decided to move to Colorado after Nate was offered an awesome job there...doing what he does best...landscaping! This would be stable money with great benefits such as awesome insurance, company truck, gas and cell phone! We put our house on the market in Kingsburg immediately and the plan was to have Nate start his job out here in March and for Hailey and I to stay put for a few months to try to sell our house! We loved it out there and weren't too anxious to say goodbye quite yet. The day after Nate left...I found out we were pregnant with our 2nd! AHHH I was so excited, but determined not to get as sick as I did with Hailey!

I didn't want to tell Nate over the phone, so I kept it from him for 2 weeks, until I came out to visit for my sister's shower and Easter. I told him the first night we arrived. We went to Outback for dinner and told the server to bring the dessert with "Congrats on new baby" written on it! As she set it on the table and Nate read it...his eyes filled with tears! It was truly a wonderful moment!

My plan stayed in place to go back to Cali for a few more months...until on Easter day when the incredible morning sickness began! From the first day I knew that the Hyperemesis had returned...this time it did seem to be worse...we didn't even have our new insurance in place yet or a doctor! After losing 14 lbs, having to receive home health care, getting a pic line put in my arm ( a semi-permanent IV line), they finally put me on steroids! For a few months there I honestly felt like I was dying! I couldn't even sit up with out having to throw up. It was a vicious cycle...I had to eat because I was pregnant and then when I would would only stay down for a few minutes! Poor Hailey pretty much didn't have a mother that could do or enforce anything. I had to be 100% dependent on my family. I finally got relief at about 16 weeks...but still got sick several times a week. The last few months of my pregnancy turned out to be ok and I absolutely LOVED my doctor who stayed with me until we found the answer!

All this time, we still had not sold our house and were living with family in one room with Hailey. We were so thankful for our gracious families that helped us out so much, but going from having your own home and living in one room was extremely difficult! Hailey would sleep on a mattress on the floor and we felt like all of our training and discipline went out the door. It was very difficult to get Hailey to stay in bed earlier than Nate and I because she knew we were coming later and would stay awake until we did. So the much needed time that parent get after their child goes to bed was almost impossible. Nate was working over 80 hours a week and I only got to see him every few days when I was staying with my parents. This went on for 7 long months. We kept thinking "it's not gonna be that much longer." And weeks would go by without our house selling! Why won't it sell? We put so much hard work and money into it and we loved it! It was priced to sell and the market just kept falling! We couldn't even get people to look at it let alone an offer. I found myself showing some signs of depression and questioning why God would put us through all this! Especially when we truly felt that Colorado was where we were meant to be.

After letting 2 nearly-purchased houses we'd found go (one of which was our absolute dream home), we finally closed on our current home October 1st. We are so thankful everyday to get to wake up to a beautiful view of the mountains and have more than enough room! We were so excited to finally start our life here!

After having 1 month of much needed emotional rest, I took Hailey to meet her new Cardiologist to check on her heart murmur. This appointment lead us to the shocking discovery of Hailey's diagnosis of Williams Syndrome! We were very unstable for the first few days and again struggled with questioning the Lord...why me...why us?

November 17th came and I delivered Ashtyn Tori...our second girl. We were thrilled for a healthy and beautiful baby!

Just in time for the Holiday season, we decided to let go of our Kingsburg house. We didn't see many other realistic options, as we were losing money on it daily, and hadn't had any serious lookers in nearly a year. We were incredibly sad, but somewhat relieved to be done dealing with it!

That all pretty much gets us to the New Year! I have survived some frustrating trials this year, but trying to acknowledge and believe that God has a perfect plan for our lives. He is not punishing much as sometimes we feel that He is. We are His children and He loves us. When I heard a man from our church tell us that God loved us and cares so greatly for our problems, I was overwhelmed with emotion and just started to bawl. Simply hearing those words is one thing, but realizing them in your heart is another!

However, there have been some incredible joys as well! Living close to my family fills a hole that I never realized could be filled. My sister is the best friend that I wish I would have discovered years ago! We were always close, but now closer than ever! I am so thankful for her! Thankful for my mom and the shoulder she is to me! I absolutely love Colorado and the many fun and amazing things it offers! I feel like I am home! Home for the rest of my life! (Lord willing!) We absolutely love Hillside...our church and now our church home! I honestly don't know where we'd be spiritually and emotionally without their love, support, worship, fellowship and teaching!

I pray now for a year of rest. I pray for a year of getting to know my Savior in new ways that I have never known before. I pray for a year of healthy children. A year with friends and family and little drama. Another year with my amazing husband who loves all the things that I love and loves me! A year of many new milestones. It's a new year and I am so excited!!


hestermom said...

Sweet Jen, thank you for sharing your heart and your struggles. So thankful that God has now brought you into a good and spacious land. =)

The Nausha's said...

Hi Jen! It's been a long time! Just wanted to say HI and tell you how amazing you all look! Congrats on another girl! Aren't they just SO fun? I'm so happy you guys were able to move back by your family! We are SO thankful to be back by ours too! I jumped on the blog wagon as well so maybe we can k.i.t.! =)Take care!!